How to Find Meaning in a Loved One’s Untimely Death

Life is an incredible journey that we share with the people we love, filled with moments that shape us into who we are. One of the most difficult parts of this journey is when we have to say goodbye to a remarkable loved one. 

Not only is processing death challenging, but when someone we love dies unexpectedly, it’s easy to feel lost in our emotions. The healing process can be even more confusing when death seems to come out of nowhere.

These tools may help you understand this difficult time and hopefully help you along your healing journey. 

What Does It Mean When a Loved One Dies?

It’s natural to feel frustrated or even angry when a loved one dies. Loss can be unsettling, and the feelings that surround it may surprise us.

Losing someone you love is never easy. In the moment, it can seem like the intense feelings that follow the death of a loved one are impossible to understand. It’s important to be patient with ourselves and others after a loved one dies unexpectedly. 

We each experience grief in unique ways and at different paces. Acknowledging these differences can help us come together as a community to heal. 

As we consider the many ways that grief affects us, let’s explore why a loved one’s untimely death may create unexpected feelings.

We Learn From Our Loved Ones

We’ve heard about the debate over how much of our psychological development is the result of nature or nurture.

One thing we know for certain is that our loved ones shape so much of what we know about life. Our favorite foods, our favorite vacation spots, how to ride a bike — these defining traits and memories can be traced back to the loved ones who helped us grow. 

For many of us, it’s impossible to imagine life without these loved ones who influenced so much of our lives. When one of these incredible people passes away, it can make our lives feel unfamiliar and disorienting. These confusing feelings can be even more pronounced when someone passes away unexpectedly.

Some Steps That Can Help

We can never have enough time with the people we love. No matter the situation, a loved one’s passing will have a profound emotional effect and impact on our lives. Although death is a natural process, it isn’t easy when we come face-to-face with it in our community. 

It can take a lifetime to come to terms with the concept of death — an unexpected or untimely death can make this even more challenging. When we experience the untimely death of a loved one, there are ways we can manage the difficult emotions that follow. Over time, these feelings will transform into healing so that we can celebrate the relationship we shared with our remarkable loved ones.

Find Balance in the Process

Everyone processes pain differently. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to experiencing the loss of a loved one. Grief itself is a deeply personal feeling, and it’s unique to every person who experiences it. However, two common instincts are compensation and distraction. 

This can look like a need to ignore our loss to try to maintain order in our world. Slowing down, taking time off work, and being present can help for a while, but we will eventually need to return to our everyday routines. 

It’s important to find a balance between respecting your need for space and time to experience your emotions and not allowing those emotions to hold you back from living your life. As scary as it may seem, continuing to live your life can help you heal.

Don’t Go It Alone

The second most important piece of advice to remember is that you don’t have to experience these feelings alone. Each of us will have our own way of finding peace and reconciling these complicated emotions. Some of us will want to externally process and be present with several people; others prefer to process things with less interaction from others. 

No matter how you choose to cope, there are ways to let your community help you during this time. Even if you prefer to process feelings on your own, help can come in the form of practical tasks like memorial planning, paperwork, and daily chores. Asking for help with these necessities is a sign of strength that can remind you of the remarkable people in your life.

Honor Your Loved One

Healing from the untimely death of a loved one is a long-term, holistic process. This isn’t going to pass in a couple of days, weeks, or even years. For many of us, when those we love pass on, we enter into an ongoing journey of discovering life without them. 

While there is an inherent loss after losing a loved one, we gain a different kind of reality. Our lives will never be the same without them, but we can honor their impact and legacy in this new world. Finding ways to celebrate their life while moving forward with ours is paramount to our healing journeys.

The greatest tools we can use during this part of our journey are the ways to celebrate our loved one’s life. Memorials help us take action during a time when we can feel powerless and remember our loved one’s impact and legacy.

For some, this can look like visiting a gravesite and making that time to process our emotions and celebrate our loved ones’ memories. For others whose loved ones were cremated, they may have an urn that they keep in their home containing cremated ashes or a location where they spread the ashes of their loved one that was of special significance. 

Create a Portable Memorial

One of the most incredibly beautiful ways to honor a loved one is through the creation of a cremation diamond. These diamonds are grown by extracting the carbon present in cremated ashes and exposing them to intense heat and pressure in a lab. 

Diamonds are naturally formed in the Earth’s mantle a hundred miles beneath the surface. At this depth, carbon is exposed to extreme heat and pressure that causes it to take on the specific bonding characteristics that make a diamond. 

By replicating these conditions in a lab, it is possible to create a memorial diamond that is uniquely formed from the carbon in your loved ones’ ashes. This eternal physical reminder of their impact and legacy can travel with you throughout your life, and you can pass it down through generations to celebrate that legacy for centuries to come. 


The journey after losing a loved one is difficult. Always remember that you are not alone, whether you find comfort in friends and family or in professional grief counseling. If you want to find out more about how you can celebrate your loved one through a cremation diamond, learn more about Eterneva

No matter how you choose to celebrate your loved one’s memory during this challenging time, the special bond you shared will never be broken.


Grieving: Facing Illness, Death, and Other Losses | Family Doctor

How Memory Can Help Us Cope With the Loss of Loved Ones | Psychology Today

What Is Grief? | Mayo Clinic


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